There once was a lemon so yellow
Whose public demeanor was mellow,
But scratch through his rind
And soon you would find
A puckeringly pithy fellow.

Those wild painted eyes of kabuki
Serve to warn of the icky and ooky.
To warn of, not warn off,
Is a moral rip-off,
And is just as perverse, if not kooky.

To my wife in the darkness I said,
“I’m awake and the day lies ahead!”
She showed me the clock:
Three a.m.! What a shock.
So I peed and I went back to bed.